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Scorpion_Is_God
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Joined: 01 Jan 2010
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 4:13 pm
Post subject: Scorpion In The Mortal Kombat 2 Tourney |
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This is my first fan fiction, so go easy on me please.
Part 1- Scorpion vs. Liu Kang
"Get over here!" Scorpion shouted as he threw his spear at Liu and it stuck into his leg. "Argh!" Liu said in pain as Scorpion dragged him by his leg and whipped him into one of the trees in the Living Forest, almost breaking his back. "Arrrrghh!" Liu said in pain. Scorpion then walked over to Liu and ripped the Spear out of his leg and slashed across his chest, leaving Liu a bloody mess, but Liu started punching Scorpion and ended up hurling fireballs at Scorpion until Scorpion finally teleported behind Liu and stuck his Spear into the back of Liu's head, killing him. "Scorpion Wins" Shao Kahn said.
End of part 1. Tell me what you think!
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the-original-razer
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Joined: 27 Apr 2009
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Location: UK
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Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:27 am
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Not bad man.
Im all for Scorpion kicking everone's asses but it feels rushed as if you just wanted to get it done.
Take more time for it.
Explain in detail about the surroundings, Kahn's Komments during the fight, what each fighter is doing besides fighting. All this kould make it way better.
Thats my feedback man.
I hope you kan improve it to the best of your ability because it has potential.
All the best,
Razer 
_________________
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Scorpion_Is_God
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:43 pm
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Ok, i will add to it, like Kahn commenting and stuff.
Chapter 2- Scorpion vs. Sub-Zero
"FIGHT!"
Scorpion sends out his spear, Sub-Zero dodges it and hits the wall of the Dead Pool, so Scorpion pulls it out and the wall comes with it and smacks Sub-Zero in the back of the head. "Excellent!" Shao Kahn bellows. "Get up, you Lin Kuei scum!' Scorpion yells as he pulls Sub-Zero to his knees. Scorpion then starts punching him, then sticks his arm into the acid. "Ahhhhhhrghh!" Sub-Zero screams in agony. "Superb!" Kahn bellows yet again. As Sub-Zero lays clutching his now skinless arm, Scorpion stands taunting. Sub-Zero is then trying to get up as Scorpion sticks his skinless arm into the acid, now reducing it to bare skeleton bones. "You have suffered enough, Lin Kuei, NOW DIE!" Scorpion then stabs Sub-Zero into one of the acid bath hooks and slits his throat. "Scorpion WINS, FATALITY."
End of chapter two. I think this one is really brutal.
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HelinaScott
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Joined: 24 Feb 2011
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:41 am
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fan fiction is always a good option , I think
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