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JK of MK
TMK Kid Thunder
Joined: 10 Mar 2003
Posts: 59
Location: Don't Ask...
TMK Koins: 91
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2003 12:29 am
Post subject: Actual Quotes From Microsoft Helpdesk |
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Hello guys, long time no see? Look at what I found.
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Here are some conversations, from Microsoft, which had actually taken
place between help desk people and their customers:
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
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Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
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Customer: "I received the software update you sent,but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer "No..."
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Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$
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Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
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Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
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Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support: "Well then we can't-"
Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"
Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to
try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're
on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
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Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
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Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
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Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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Customer: "I have a long distance modem."
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Customer: "I don't have a space bar."
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_________________
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Shadow Warrior
King of Shadows
Joined: 30 Jun 2003
Posts: 487
Location: Some small isolated area growing to become the greatest MK villian ever...
TMK Koins: 680
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2003 3:31 am
Post subject: |
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wow...."I dont have a space bar" eh? ouuch
_________________
*Formally known as The Dragon King*
Sincerely,
-The Dragon King-
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Sektor
the shirt ninja
Joined: 15 Nov 2002
Posts: 998
Location: Germany
TMK Koins: 2330
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2003 8:34 am
Post subject: |
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The MS Word one is the best.
_________________
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-Shinobi-
TMK Visitor
Joined: 23 Jun 2003
Posts: 5
TMK Koins: 63
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:07 pm
Post subject: |
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lmao, these are funny
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Sektor
the shirt ninja
Joined: 15 Nov 2002
Posts: 998
Location: Germany
TMK Koins: 2330
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:12 pm
Post subject: |
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By the way, Shinobi: The RoK is back.
_________________
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